One of my cousin's grandmother is a very lively person...You know the kinda old folks who wear colourful clothes, still dye their hair, be jolly, tell stories and sing songs/tappas on weddings etc...People used to mock her jolliness saying that how could she be so happy and full of life after the death of her hubby with whom she had lived a great portion of her adult life (talking something around 40+ years)...She used to simply say that I was like a typical widow for the first week or so after her hubby's death, wearing white clothes, no make-up, a total utter mess...Then she said her hubby started coming in her dreams and asking her that she has to live for him, to start wearing coloured clothes, makeup, be jolly and all...According to her, he asked her not to become a living dead after his demise, and reminded her of the fact that as per Islamic teachings, there should be no mourning beyond three days...So, after those dreams, she started doing all the things that she did while her hubby was alive claiming that she did it for him, as he could see, that afterall he wanted to see her "sonii begum", not some ragged-out dull, wilting maiii (old lady)...She said she had to do it for him, for his offsprings, to make sure their grandchildren had a grand-parent giving them the initial leassons of life...I just found that romantic in the truest sence...Its just that I don't find these so called Shakespearean love tragedies or the Sassi Pannu, Heer Ranjha, Sohni Mahwaal (desi versions) romantic...What courage or bravery is there to end your life after the separation of your beloved...As my friend would say: "sab kai sab salaay phatoo thay"...Do you think that the beloved for whose sake these lovers took their lifes would have wanted that? I don't think so..No sane lover can even think of wanting his/her beloved to take their life...Time ceases to exist in the next world in the life hereafter...So even if you die, 80980980808 years after your beloved, you'd still meet him/her instantly if its meant to be...The real test is to continue on living your life in the best possible way that you can, knowing fully that your companion/soulmate/spouse would have wanted all that, no matter what, despite all the space-time difference....
I can well imagine that when my time comes to leave this world eventually, my ghost would probably start making guest appearances in the dreams of my loved ones trying to tell them 101 ways to have some shugal-mela in their lives :). Oh yea! Even if for some reason I don't appear in those dreams due to scheduled committments with the "hoors", in order to avert any major tussle within them, think of it as my decreed will :P
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