I think that the most important thing that time and experience teaches us is to deal with different aspects and variations of human behaviour and emotions. Trust me its the most complex thing in this world. Heck, it can be easier to hack into the mainframe of the NSA and CIA than to understand the complex working of the human mind.
When someone does something unexpected that takes you by surprise, you always wonder why did that person do what he/she did and what underlying reason motivated him/her. This can be for both sets of outliers in terms of behaviour. Extreme, unyielding negative behaviour or unflinching positive behaviour, kindness and generosity. Or it can be random swings from the expectations. For example if someone always behaved negatively towards you and all of a sudden their attitude towards you changes or vice versa i.e. when someone who had always been good with you becomes cold and aloof out of nowhere.
My first instinct towards the later change of behaviour (positive to negative) is to use the "benefit of the doubt" theory. This entails trying to understand two main aspects. Firstly, is there something I have done in the past few interactions and meetings that might have offended the person. This involves rewinding the last few conversations and actions in my head in the attempt to isolate any point of friction. If this process leads to the conclusion that it was my fault, then it is best to diffuse the situation by being man enough to own to the mistake, apologize and patch-up in an amicable way. Infact, if done in a sincere, considerate and thoughtful manner, apology even leads to the strengthening of the bond you have with that person. Infact, sometime the realization of the mistake also makes you go the extra mile and makes you do something worthwhile and memorable for the person. Its really important that we always give the benefit of the doubt to the person rather than jumping to conclusions that might lead us to act negatively as well resulting in permanent un-patchable damage to the bond. Remember that no one is inherently inclined to being a bad person. Sometimes its the situation that prompts it. Problems at work, family issues, health issues, financial problems can make even the most pleasant person act like an arse. The law of the Garbage truck applies here. However, you can be the better person and if that person wants to get it offloaded onto you, accept it with a smile. I believe that our friends, significant others and family members have this right to talk out or act out their frustrations with us. Surely, all of us have done it quite unashamedly several times with parents, friends and what not.
Similarly, when someone who has always been arsy towards you comes out and acts nicely, it is always met by a degree of skepticism and suspision. The first thing that comes to mind is the fact that perhaps that person needs something from us. However, why don't we ever think that perhaps all those times when that person was arsy and we still acted with dignity, all those times might have led that person to finally have a change of heart. Or perhaps the reason why that person was always arsy (having a troubled family life, fear, peer pressure, pre-conceived notions) no longer exists anymore. The secret is to welcome this change and to encourage it by reciprocating the positivity.
No matter how someone else behaves towards you, you should be only worried about your own actions and behaviours. In the end, people come and go. Life is so unpredictable. Act in a way that would make those who walk away from you remember you in their good memories and those who stay with you cherish your company. And when the time comes to leave the world, atleast you can hope that you will be remembered in good words.
Theres' always a reason why people behave the way they do. Never jump to conclusions without attempting to know those reasons. Till then give them the benefit of the doubt!
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