A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful women is one who can find one
"Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."
"Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting."
"In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf."
Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
"An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be"
"When women go wrong, men go right after them."
[On UK movie rating system]
It's simple. PG means the hero gets the girl. PG-15 means that the villain gets the girl and PG-18 means everybody gets the girl.
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