Sundried tomato

Why the unusual title you'd ask? Besides the fact that I had a vegetarian pasta containing a sundried tomato,it also represents my state of mind at the moment...I'm just exhausted mentally. These exams took a heavy toll on me. I've never ever seen such tough exams and trust me i've taken alotttt of exams but these ones literally made you cry. God bless the examiner; it seemed he had a terrible fight with his wife and he decided to vent out all his frustration on the exam...I'll only pass this through some miracle...

Airports always fascinate me. Sitting here right now, in the midst of all these desi people seems to bring forth thoughts of airport journeys past and airport journeys future. Two years ago when I came to this country as an unsuspecting FOB, I never fathomed life will be like this. The blinding pace of this life, the cultural melting pot phenomenon, the consumerism, the materialistic rat race and the general comforts of this lifestyle (typing all this on a phone screen while waiting for a flight). Back then my dad said "dekhna yeh wahaan sai wapis nahi aai ga" which made my mom all teart eyed.i laughed it off at that point and knew I was going to be back soon enough once I'm done with the qualification. Sitting here right now, I observed a desi couple with kids and these kids just seemed out of place.I can't describe it but it was some weird feeling, as if they're hanging by one culture and being pulled by another. Then there was a really old couple and they were all alone. No sibling, no offspring came to see them off and they were really old and frail. I just started talking to them and they told me that they had arrived to the uk 45 years ago, had their whole life here but after the marriage of their children, they just kinda sort left them on their own in a nursing home. They somehow managed to save enough money to buy a ticket and go to their ancestral village after 10 years. They said it was their last wish to die in their homeland and be buried in it's soil. That just made me think.what if thats my future? What if I become like them? What if I don't go back? What if a part of me changes and gets used to this lifestyle?

Airports represent crossroads. At this juncture of my life, j feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and the fact that I have to live so far away from my family, my home, my true north makes me feel overwhelmed...what if I can't deliver? In the end I know it's all upto God and in Him and only Him I trust. That's the only light that shines through. Please God, don't burden me with more than I can withstand. I'm only human.

The departure gates are open for boarding. I don't trust this airline much but the upside is that I'll get to see turkey, the home of one of your future bhabis :p (jk). I just hope the airline food is not nauseating. Land of the pure, here I come Inshallah :)