Sometimes I just feel that the rasm-o-rivaaj (traditions) of our subcontinent are totally senceless and open to abuse. One of my friends of subcontinent origin but born and raised here related an incident in which he went with his future brother-in-law for shopping. Basically, its a subcontinent tradition to buy the groom-to-be a suit and accessories for the wedding event (I think the walima or is it for the main wedding reception?).Anyhow, he took his future bro-in-law for shopping in order to ascertain the guys choice and to make sure he got what he liked. That guy went overboard...Like massively overboard...He got a £1200 Armani suit, a £700 Gucci watch, a £120 scarf and some other way expensive stuff which I can't remember now...It cost my poor friend in excess of £2000...I know you might be saying, I'm acting like a freshie and fretting over a mere 2 grand. I don't know perhaps in some people's books that might not be a significant or material amount at all...However, it just left a bad taste...I mean that groom-to-be went with him and it wasn't as if he was from some really super-affluent background...My friend wasn't some millionaire either...He belongs to the middle class as well...
Just two things disgusted me...The first was the fact that the groom-to-be went wayyy overboard and tried to take advantage of this tradition to fulfill wishes he couldn't or wouldn't afford to fulfil himself in his normal day-to-day life...He was spurred on by pure greed and bhookapan...The second disgusting thing about this tradition is the notion that the parents of a girl are always in a strain to appease the bridegroom and his family...This somehow gives weight to the prevelant concept that girls are burdens for a family...Not only do the girls parents end up giving dowry but they also have to buy stuff for the groom as well...These traditions are simply open to misuse and add to the worries of people with daughters/sisters...My friend was really upset...Not because of the monetary fact but more so because the whole shopping trip made him see this disturbing aspect of his future bro-in-law, that he is greedy...What would stop him from making such extravagant demands in the future...What if he starts expecting this and takes such lavish treats from the in-laws as his default right...
I don't know what I would have done if I were in his position...I guess my facial expressions would have said it all to that guy...Anyhow, enough of my feminism...One of my friend used to tease me that I was a closet feminist. I don't know about whether I care for the whole female race or not. All I know is that I do worry and fret about the females in my life :)
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